A Little Morning Observation
It was about 7:15 am. I was awake, but just laying in bed. My husband had just finished getting ready to head out for a morning on the golf course. I told him he looked cute (because well, he always does), to which he replied, “so do you.” Let’s be real, only someone who is blinded by love would think that my puffy eyes and bed head was “cute.”
My pregnant daughter and her husband stayed the night at our house last night. They have an ultrasound and a niece's birthday party close to where we live, so it just made things easier for them. And I am always excited to have a grown kiddo crash at home. At this time of the morning, they were still asleep. So I sent her a text that let her know I was just chilling.
It was only a few minutes later that my bladder decided it was time for me to go ahead and get up. (Hello life in your 40s’!) Within a few minutes after that I found myself in my favorite green sitting room, sipping on coffee my husband had brewed before he left. I had my journal and another book in my lap, and had every intention to read and journal for a while. I opened my journal, wrote exactly two sentences, and then my phone dinged. A facebook notification. I had posted the night before about a birthday dinner for my dad, and people were commenting. So I sat and scrolled for a few more minutes. Hopped on instagram and checked out what was happening over there. To no surprise, nothing too exciting.
I started to think about the things I’d “like” to do today and the things I “need” to do today. On my most productive days, I’m a list girl. I write all of my to-dos on my whiteboard and even put times next to each item. But today… my mind is not feeling like it’s most productive self. I decided to head to the gym and move my body. Nothing intense, just a walk in the treadmill.
And here I am. Walking at 3.5 speed and typing on my phone.
I still don’t know exactly how my day will be shape up. But I am actively deciding that I am simply observing and acknowledging today. I’m observing how my mind works differently on different days and throughout different weeks. I’m observing how my emotions show up throughout the day.
By observing my emotions, I am able to mentally separate myself from my emotions. The act of observing them and identifying them helps me to remember that I am not emotions. They show up and I get to decide if so want them to stay or if I want to change them.
And the best part, there is no right or wrong answer. We see Jesus display a whole range of emotions while he walked this earth. Different emotions are valid for different occasions. But when we observe them and identify them, we understand that we are in control of them and not the other way around.
At the present moment, I feel neutral. I don’t feel overly motivated for the day, and I don’t want to just sit around and relax all day. I think the best plan of action for me today is to show up authentically. And I might not know what that is in advance
How are you feeling today? What emotions are you noticing?
