lessons in love
I am 37,000 feet in the air, flying home from one of the most incredible and life transforming trips of my life. That may sound a bit dramatic, but it is certainly true. I took my 16 year old son on a 900 mile trip to meet a girl in person for the first time. And we stayed with her family, who we had also never met before. I stepped so far out of my comfort zone, but it allowed me to witness one of the sweetest love stories ever… up close and in person.
In January of 2021, my son and his girl met online and began talking regularly. She was at a party and he had a friend over, and the timing just so happened that they connected that night. A friendship quickly developed. They would FaceTime each other each night and chat for hours. Several months into their relationship, my son started asking about the possibility of meeting her. I wasn’t really sure what to think at first. I didn’t shut down the idea, but I really thought it might end before that ever happened. As the months progressed, the plea to meet didn’t fade. In fact, the initiative these two took to plan out the trip was quite admirable. Eventually, I knew this relationship wasn’t ending soon, and even if it did, it might take meeting in real life for that to be decided. So the date was set, the plane tickets were purchased, and on Thursday evening last week, my son and I flew to Houston where we were picked up by strangers. Crazier than that, we stayed at their home! Social anxiety aside, I was determined to be myself and not let the absurdity of the situation dampen the mood. My son was comfortable enough to talk to me about this crazy idea and want me along for the ride… in my mind, my only option was to say yes.
After three days and three nights in a new state with new faces, trying new foods and experiencing new activities, I believe I have made new friends. Her parents, equally unsure of what to expect opening their home to this boy and her mom, were so welcoming and treated us like family. It’s obvious why my son has fallen head over heels for this girl, knowing how kind hearted and loving her parents are.
None of us know what the years to come will hold. And I was faced with the lesson once again: Just because we don’t know the future, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t live in the moment. Whether these two have just experienced their first love or their forever love, only time will tell. But I am so honored that I have had the opportunity to witness and support two young people that respect and adore each other. Their playfulness is refreshing, their individuality is respectable, their commonalities are jaw dropping, but most of all their giddiness is infectious!
May we all take a moment to reflect on young love and allow ourselves to remember those feelings. Whether your relationship is brand new or you are celebrating 50 years together, work to appreciate the blind love you first felt for one another. When we train our brains to identify the positive, that’s exactly what we see. It’s true. Mel Robbins explains it so perfectly when she describes what it is like when you are car shopping. When you decide you like, for example, a red Nissan, suddenly you start seeing red Nissans everywhere. You tell your brain the red Nissan is important, so it filters what you see to notice those. They have always been there, but now you SEE them. We can train our brains to look for the things we decide are important to us, and positive attributes in your partner or spouse are no longer exception. I owe my son a huge thank you for his willingness to put his anxiety aside and take a well thought out chance. I was able to take away lessons for my life, as well.
