You are the queen
For all of us here in Tennessee, summertime is coming to an abrupt end. And I know so many of us are a little hesitant about jumping back into the grind of work and school...at least that is true at my house. In fact at our house, the new season is full of so many changes and uncertainties. Two daughters are planning weddings, my middle son is transitioning to college life for the first time after graduating high school this year, and my youngest two are starting school in a new city at a new school. And those are just the obvious changes. If I were to sit here and focus on all of the uncertainties in the immediate future, I guarantee you my anxiety would skyrocket. So instead, I have chosen to focus on the future in a more positive way. I have seen and felt my anxiety minimize and my excitement about the upcoming days, weeks, and months multiply. If you’re going through any kind of change or transition, I hope this thought I am about to share helps you alter your focus from the negative to the positive.
As moms, we can ALWAYS find things to worry about. Other times, worry finds us and fills us with anxiety.
· Maybe you are a teacher worried about the upcoming changes at your school.
· Maybe you are a mom sending your child to preschool for this first time.
· Perhaps you are a mom watching your child step into middle or high school and you aren’t quite ready to watch them walk in the doors of that new big school.
· Maybe you have been a stay-at-home mom, and for the first time in a long time (or maybe ever) you are going back to work.
· It could be that you are a mom that is battling the challenges of a newly blended family or a household where you are now the solo decision-making parent.
· Are you a mom that is starting this new school year with a child who is no longer in your custody, or who has had the unimaginable happen and your child is watching over you from above?
· Or just maybe this is the first year you are an empty-nester, and the quiet house is not as appealing as you one thought it would be.
Seasons of change are often challenging and filled with dread. For me, these feelings are magnified when I am feeling inferior to the task at hand. When I lack the self-confidence to show up as a mom, friend, or student, I tend to cower away and hide. I procrastinate and fill my time with meaningless business because I am afraid that I won't be good enough. I am afraid of failing and getting it all wrong. What am I afraid of failing at? All of it...parenting, showing up for my kids, passing my classes, budgeting my finances, meeting all of my kids' needs and providing them with the opportunity to be successful at the things they love. This fear isn’t always obvious...it shows up sneakily and it is only when I notice myself withdrawing from responsibility that I even recognize it has shown up...again. And lately, it has been showing up a lot. However, keeping problems hidden doesn’t solve them. Resolution comes when we confront issues head on. I hadn’t been able to do that recently until I heard this scripture that I hadn’t heard in a very long time.
“If you keep quiet at a time like this, deliverance and relief for the Jews will arise from some other place, but you and your relatives will die. Who knows if perhaps you were made queen for just such a time as this?” Esther 4:14
I am not the queen of a nation, and my family is not Jewish. That was Esther’s story. But my story still requires me to take action that is in my heart. I am in the middle of one of the most exciting and terrifying seasons of change I have ever walked through. And in the midst of all of the major shifts, I find myself dreaming of the work and help I want to offer to other people, particularly mommas. But one of the loudest voices in my head tells me constantly that I am highly underqualified to be of any good to other mommas. Yet, the desire won’t go away. It is always in my mind. I believe there is a reason I have certain desires. There are people (starting with my family) that will benefit from my willingness to do those things that are on my mind and heart. I cannot, however, sit passively and expect everything to magically work out in my favor.
Faith without works is dead.
If you are feeling anxious about your future and unsure about whether or not you can do what you need and want to do, this is for you as much as it is for me. There is a reason you are reading this today. Maybe you have never been told that you are capable. So let me tell you, you were born for such a time as this! You are the queen of your world. Regardless of the challenges you are facing, momma, you have everything you need inside of you to walk through them with grace, dignity, and strength.
